ουτ οʃ мιŋd: October 2012

Oct 23, 2012

Disappointed?

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對了,我今年不夠兒努力。我一向都知道自己的問題所在,不需要別人一而再,再而三地提醒。心里會有一股聲音悄悄地告訴我:“時間剩下不多了,重要的時刻也快到了。你不可以再停了,再停就會鑄成大錯,沒翻身的機會了! ” 啊,原來我只剩那300+ 天,歲月無情地流失啊!

成績不好是因為不用功的成果,不是自己天資不好,身體殘疾,能夠很大聲地講
就代表覺悟了嗎? 還是說了這句話,別人就會安慰你,帶給你希望。放屁,門兒都沒有。

你失望,那是因為你對我的要求過高,在我身上抱著希望。沒有希望的蹤影,就不會有失望。我很少失望,是因為我都沒希望過...也許有時候有,但那只是一場很美的夢。

不要讓自己活得那麼痛苦,好嗎?

我一點都不喜歡聽你說:我好失望。拜託,我都還沒失望,你有什麽資格去失望。你擺明就有一點兒生氣我。可是,我問你:氣消了嗎? 還在生氣嗎? 你確實是這樣回應我的:


我不在乎,你怎樣想。只要不在乎,就不會有傷心,不會被傷害。就如同沒有信任,謊言只是可恥的東西,可以一笑置之。通常不在乎,是因為曾經一度被傷的很深,意識才會很自主地保護自己。人格分裂癥不也這樣嗎? 第二個人格的誕生就是爲了保護脆弱的自己。有誰不愛自己? 全世界,最懂你的是自己,不是別人。沒有人會去理會你今天開心嗎? 傷心嗎? 還是無聊嗎? 就算會,也都是依照邏輯去走,我應該怎樣關心他,出不出于真心,我真的搞不懂。老實說,我是個很保護自己的人,我不會去在乎那些會令我感到傷心的事。今年,只哭了很少次。發脾氣才是我今年常做的事。生氣,只要亂喊亂叫,所有的煩惱都會被甩出來。

失望又怎樣哦。事情都發生了,難道失望就可以改變結局嗎? 我還是很喜歡那一句:輸了就輸了,沒有什麽雖敗猶榮的。失望!對我失望。我接受! 你要怎樣想都可以,我絕不會在花任何時間聽你長篇大論你怎樣看我在這麼多次的失敗當中,那麼多次的不努力當中。你老是說我給自己找任何藉口,不責駡自己。聽了那麼多傷害自己的話,我為何不可以鼓勵自己,說一些令自己放鬆的話。


那些都是過去的東西了,為何緊緊抓出不放。我現在沒有一秒是想要看回去這些糟糕的成績。Let bygones be bygones. 一直回頭看,只會擱了你的腳步,阻止你前進。最後一次的嘗試。我其實有點兒沒信心,希望你給我打氣。但我,絕對不想你對我有任何期望。我很叛逆的,你越要我好,我故意做得很糟! 這樣,我才感覺到快感。默默,為我加油吧! 我會奮鬥,我不能想像時間的流逝慢慢帶我面臨殘酷的現實還有我那未知的未來。


看見很多人爲了這次考試因成績沒達到自己想要的,紛紛掉淚。哭,有用嗎? 哭了,成績會變得很好嗎? 老師會因此心疼,加分嗎? 也許是克制不住,眼淚才會掉出來的。忘了嗎? 中三那一年,自己沒有想過原來我也變成了個淚人兒。望向天空吧,那樣淚水就不會掉出來了。


大家對我好的人,真的很對不起。我讓最愛我的人為我傷心,煩惱。我都做了些什麽啊?!!!!
這是我聽過你說過令我最心痛的話: 
I don't hate you. I'm disappointed you turned into everything you said you'd never be.
最愧疚的莫過於是高級數學老師和生物老師 :( 我要把功課做完,希望可以在假期前。
Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to be good enough for anyone or anything...

算了,最重要是現在我要清楚:
You must made a decision that you are going to move on. It won't happen automatically. You will have to rise up and say, I don't care how hard this is, I don't care how disappointed I am. I am not going to let this get the best of me. I'am moving on my life. 

結論:失望多了,也就慢慢沒有了信任。


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AL Heavenly - Download Thousands of Free Fonts at FontZone.net

Oct 20, 2012

總是那麼不知覺地追星。

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自從看到她一眼,就很喜歡她。她的美總是深深地吸引我!
第一次這麼愛一個女明星。我到底怎麼了?! Nina Dobrev❤
我總有一天會從動一次,不顧一切地去尋找她的蹤影。Los Angelas 等我 :目



就連頭髮也想留到和她一樣的長度,(心:誒,你真傻! )



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Amethyst Script - Download Thousands of Free Fonts at FontZone.net

Hate that I love you.

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蛮喜欢这首歌的。很耐听,这首我听不腻的说。只是有点儿不喜欢Rihanna 的MV...我放了不是VEVO的 Youtube link 在下面,还没听就快快点击吧~

Yeah, hey, hey

That's how much I love you (Yeah)
That's how much I need you (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

And I can't stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
And then I like you for a while
No

But you won't let me
You upset me, girl and then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget that I was upset
Can't remember what you did

But I hate it
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you 

for too long   that's wrong
But I hate it

You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't wanna fuss and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you

And I hate how much I love you, boy (Yeah)
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you)

And I hate how much, I love you, boy (Yeah, oh)
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so

Ooh and you completely know the power that you have
(The power that you have)
The only one that makes me laugh
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/n/ne_yo/hate_that_i_love_you.html ]
Sad and it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact that I (I)
Love you beyond a reason why (Why)
And it just ain't right

And I hate how much I love you, girl
I can't stand how much I need you (Hey yeah)
And I hate how much I love you, girl
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so

One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss will make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me

Yeah, oh, oh, oh, yeah

It's how much I love you (Much I need you)
It's how much I need you (Oh)

It's how much I love you (Oh)
It's how much I need you
And I hate that I love you
So

And I hate how much I love you, boy
I can't stand how much I need you
(Hey, can't stand how much I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy (Yeah oh)

But I just can't let you go
(But I just can't let you, no)
And I hate that I love you so
And I hate that I love you so, so


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Astoria Titling Nf - Download Thousands of Free Fonts at FontZone.net

Oct 19, 2012

Feeling Good!

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WOOHOO ~ ~[xb喇叭]
要考完试了[xb挥手]。这种感觉真的是太棒了![xb兴奋](心:她又要开始悠闲了,怎么办?[xb汗]
才不管,我的Honeymoon 要过完了[xb呆],很可怜的剩下那宝贵的几天[xb捂脸],你知道没?[xb哭] 我要玩完那几天[xb期待]。要和我一起,好好过完今年的朋友,Here we go  [xb举手]

今天,其实不懂要写什么很三八又无聊地东西[xb风吹],所以我来这里装勤劳一下[xb眼镜],赛一些读书照[xb看书]。其实都是考试前一天才随便翻翻书本,真没意思,太对不起自己了[xb小花]


很少看见的认真样 =.=

读书又不读书啦,在那边搞七搞八。

公公看到肯定会这么说,好吧,我决定了! 我明年尽量当个用功的小孩。

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AquilineTwo - Download Thousands of Free Fonts at FontZone.net

Oct 15, 2012

P!nk - Try

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最近很喜欢听的一首歌,你听了吗? 还没听的,就按下面的Youtube Player :)
虽然MV 很那个,你懂的,就是太开放了,而且那个女的很像要被人家...,不过这样才带出她的歌的意思,不过怎样都要TRY,不要害怕失败! 我说的是正当的事! 也不要乱来厚>.<老实说,那个女的是歌星,在MV却一直被男配角摔在地上,很疼耶。不过还是喜欢这首歌的旋律!

Ever wonder about what he’s doing
How it all turned to lies
Sometimes I think that it’s better to never ask why

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone’s bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn’t mean you’re gonna die
You’ve gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
You gotta get up and try try try
Eh, eh, eh

Funny how the heart can be deceiving
More than just a couple times
Why do we fall in love so easy
Even when it’s not right

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone’s bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn’t mean you’re gonna die
You’ve gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
You gotta get up and try try try

Ever worried that it might be ruined
And does it make you wanna cry?
When you’re out there doing what you’re doing
Are you just getting by?
Tell me are you just getting by by by

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone’s bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn’t mean you’re gonna die
You’ve gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
You gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
You gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try

You gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try 




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AlphaWood - Download Thousands of Free Fonts at FontZone.net

Oct 6, 2012

一日伴一斤:Out of Mind的Banner !(¯﹃¯)

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有好多款式的Banner,看了都不知道要放哪一个好o(≧v≦)o~~















我决定轮流换(如果我勤劳的话啦)

考试,你那么爱我做莫?

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Happy Birthday to me!
现在只剩一大堆书陪我,可恶的考试>.<

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